She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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