You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
