If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
