Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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