so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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