I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
a search helicopter?!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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