Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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