Please, let me fuck your mom
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
