i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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