just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize