We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
