I swear she didn't look like that last week.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize