physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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