Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
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I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
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It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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