you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Randomize
