If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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