Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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