i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
