RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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