Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
