She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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