Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
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