i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Need sex. Gaining weight.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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