I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize