what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Drake has all the answers
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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