The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
