I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
