My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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