batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
