3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
