Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
