is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize