I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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