some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just puked most of my soul out..
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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