Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
