3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
