Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
A+ Viking dick
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
