We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
