hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
