i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
