Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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