Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
