Me too!
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
