Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
