I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
