then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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