if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
