Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize