is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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