You're so nebulous sometimes
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
