he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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