At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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