I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
