conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
