thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
