I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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