David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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