Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
