So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize