Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
