That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
