This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
