I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
