I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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