hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
