There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
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Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
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Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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