Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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