I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
