i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
