let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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